Disappear For 30 Days (a case study)

My Insights From A 30 Day Retreat To Realign My Purpose

Author

Bill Lee
May 04, 2023

I’ve been stuck in a rut lately. I’ve been feeling unmotivated, scatterbrained, and somewhat lost in life. Tried to half-ass a few brand ideas that didn’t get any traction. I’d partake in “mental masturbation” by consuming self-help or business content via Youtube, books, and podcasts instead of actual execution. This was making me feel like I was being productive but I was actually getting jack shit done.

Living in Bangkok for 10+ months now, I found it easy to get carried away with activities that took me away from my goals. Drinking, partying, girls all served as major distractions. Now there’s nothing wrong with enjoying life once in a while, but I felt guilty about mindless self-indulgences since I wasn’t hitting my business goals. I felt like the fun I was having was not deserved. And honestly, that kind of fun gets old after a while.

The real fun is winning the game of life. And that means pursuing the 4 pillars of a good life: health, wealth, relationships, and happiness.

View from my condo in Bangkok

So I decided that I needed a mental reset. I went back to the States for 5 weeks. I visited my grandmother in a senior living community. She had an art studio that had a spare sofa I could sleep on. It turned out to be the perfect place to put my head down and do some inner work. If you think about it, an old folks home is the perfect getaway from the distractions of the typical western world. There’s literally nothing to do except hustle and reinvent yourself.

And it was actually a beautiful campus surrounded by trees that have been around longer than I’ve been alive, the chirping of several species of birds, and a tranquil pond flanked by numerous geese. I did also spend time with my family, which is also super important to me as I’m only in the US 1-2 times a year. You should take a break from the grind sometimes for the important things in life.

Magnolia trees and cherry blossom trees were a nice accompaniment to my daily walks.

I started off the 30 days by doing a self-audit of everything that wasn’t self-serving towards my goals:

  • Instagram

  • too much Youtube

  • dating apps

  • checking Discord too often

  • too much phone use

Don’t be like this guy.

After doing this self-audit, I decided to deactivate my IG, installed the Unhook extension which removes recommends videos and home page videos from the feed, deleted dating apps, only used Discord on my computer instead of phone, and limited phone screen time to 1-2 hours a day.

Now these are the bad habits that apply to me specifically, so make sure you’re cognizant of what’s holding you back. Could it be video games, alcohol, weed, porn, Netflix? If you’re not happy with where you’re at in life, sacrifices have to be made. Otherwise you’ll be on your deathbed one day with immense regret. I believe that many of the people in today’s world are the worst versions of themself, and that boils down to the habits they choose to engage in.

Everyone should be conscious of bringing more good habits into their life but also eliminating or minimizing bad habits. By becoming self-aware of what’s holding me back, I was able to free up a lot more mental bandwidth into my endeavors. You can create a log of how you spend every waking minute for a few days. See what habits you can eliminate or replace. A lot of you are wasting time mindlessly scrolling on your phone. Or getting drunk 3 times a week with the homies.

You only need a few keystone habits to serve as a foundation for a fulfilled life:

  • Meditation

  • Exercise

  • Walks in nature (great for getting inspiration and vitamin D)

  • Flow-state work

  • 7-8 hours of sleep

  • Reading

Anything else is icing on the cake, but it’s good to start off small and work your way up so you can consistently keep up with the keystone habits.

Insights I learned from my 30 days of being unreachable:

Most social media is a waste of time if you’re not where you want to be in life.

I deactivated my IG for a month, the longest period of time without logging in for several years. Admittedly, IG has been my biggest time waster. I used it as a tool to seek validation and would inadvertently compare myself to others that were seemingly doing better than me. The amount of mental bandwidth that it consumes is astounding.

If you’re not happy with where you are in life, you should minimize IG and Tiktok as much as possible, if not delete them entirely. On the other hand, Twitter can be a great learning tool if used properly. Follow the right people in your industry and inject yourself into thought-provoking conversations with thought leaders. Just don’t check your feed too often.

Regular exposure to nature is mandatory for well-being.

I spent every day walking through nature, often without my phone. It’s almost like a meditative act in itself and can help find a solution to a problem you were stuck on. Many of life’s dilemmas can be solved just by being present while having a stroll through the park.

Plus, it’s been proven that most of the world’s population are deficient in vitamin D. People just don’t go outside enough, or they live in gloomy parts of the world. Vitamin D deficiency can lead to increased depression, anxiety, and a decrease in overall well-being.

Producer mindset > consumer mindset.

Don’t just be the guy that spends all day consuming content, create your own content. This can be in the form of writing a newsletter such as this, creating Youtube videos, writing tweets, or starting your own business. Not only will this pay dividends in terms of money, you will also feel a lot more fulfilled in life.

If you want to be in the 1%, you shouldn’t be doing what the 99% are doing. Which generally means scrolling through Tiktok for hours on end, following a bunch of IG models, or binge-watching Netflix.

Maintaining a normal sleep schedule is important to be on your A-game.

Going to bed by midnight everyday and waking up at 7-8am on a consistent basis did wonders for the quality and length of sleep. Back in Bangkok, I would sometimes go out with friends and end up staying up till 3-4 am. And that would mess up the flow for the next day, as well as the following days since it took me a while to acclimate back to my normal sleep schedule.

Hyper focus is a super power that sets you apart from the pack.

How many of you can read a book for an hour without checking your phone? This attention-span deficiency has snowballed in the last 2 decades with the advent of the smartphone, Tiktok, Reels, etc. Movie length has been shortened drastically compared to several decades ago. Youtube videos that feature a continuous shot over a long period of time have considerably less views and watch time compared to a shorter video with cuts transitioning to a new scene every few seconds.

Reset your dopamine receptors by reading, meditating, and working without distractions. Cut off or limit exposure to cheap dopamine by having screen-time or app time limits. Do this and watch your attention span revert back to baseline. And you’ll be way ahead compared to the phone-addicted zombies which comprises over 90% of the younger generation.

What I’ve accomplished after 30 days:

I’ve been struggling to come up with a niche for a brand that I could really go all-in on. I finally was able to buckle down on my retreat and validated a brand idea that will be my next 7-8 figure brand. I was also able to finish several books, get my personal brand going which includes recording/editing my 1st piece of content for my brand (you can view it on my IG). I started honing my writing skills by starting this newsletter and actively tweeting. I experimented with new stretches and workouts, and also added red light therapy to my morning routine. I started studying AI more in-depth.

All in all, I had less brain fog, a more clearly defined purpose, a healthier body, and a laser-focus. I became ready to take on the world, and absolutely nothing would stand in my way. I felt reincarnated.

To summarize:

If you’re ever stuck in a rut like me, I highly recommend going somewhere remote, with good internet, and eliminating all distractions. Become unreachable. Remove all toxic habits. And follow a strict regimen for 30+ days. You’ll come out a better person with a realigned vision for what you want in life. You’ll find solutions to problems that have been eating away at you. You’ll have an upgraded software (your mind) and upgraded hardware (your body). You’ll become unrecognizable.

Accurate depiction of me after the 30 days.

I will be making this a yearly tradition from now on. Perhaps next year will be in a cabin in the woods? We will see. Hopefully this inspires you to do something similar if you feel like you need it. And if you end up doing something similar, I’d love to hear how it went, feel free to shoot me a DM.